When the kill-in-order minions went out from the god Confuscious they were able to kill everyone until they reached Jesus Chist, who was somehow protected invulnerable. The Gospel stories are all impersonators of the actual Jesus Christ that they managed to catch and kill in public thus proving they were not the god. The actual Jesus Christ was still alive until only a few years ago, when he died to me, the One True God. I ate him, because that is what gods do in the One God War, tame out and eat the other gods until only one is left. The one that is left is me.