I tried for many years to 'accept' a god. Many many many years. I even read the bible, had study groups, etc...
The whole time my own heart was telling me "this isn't IT."

My heart was right it turns out. I lean on Love today, not gods and not religions. The entity in the bible known as 'god' is NOT Love, but a very poor imitation. You may want to ask yourself why 'you' have chosen to worship a god that is the creator of all evil? Isaiah 45;7 will tell you this.
Been there, done that. Good luck to you though!