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Old 07-25-2010, 03:38 PM
daaaaaniv's Avatar
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Default Atheist bank robbers?

A group of atheist gangsters are sitting around deliberating over methods they will employ in robbing a bank.
After a lot of thought, they all agree on the way to go about it.In the wee hours of the following morning they meet and embark on their plans to get rich.Once inside the bank, efforts at disabling the internal security system get under way immediately. The atheists, expecting to find one or two huge safes filled with cash and valuables, are more than surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered strategically throughout the bank.The first safes combination is cracked and inside the atheist find only a bowl of vanilla pudding.
'Well,' says one atheist to another, 'at least we get a bit to eat.'
They open up the second safe and it also contains nothing but vanilla pudding and the process continues until all the safes are opened and there is not one dollar, a diamond, or an ounce of gold to be found.
Instead, all the safes contain containers of pudding.

Disappointed, each of the atheists makes a quiet exit, leaving with nothing more than queasy, uncomfortably full stomachs.

The following morning, a newspaper headline reads, 'America's largest sperm bank robbed early this morning.'
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Old 07-27-2010, 03:38 PM
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Okay Bigot. Why are the Atheist? Second of all...not a question.
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Old 08-01-2010, 03:38 PM
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I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Are you religious?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."

I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.
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Old 08-03-2010, 03:38 PM
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Interesting, didn't see that one coming. I like to employ the methods of my Muppet neighbors. Simply, I deny associating with any belief public ally, that way I can laugh when insults are intended for me. NO wait, that's not me, that's the toothache defending herself against communists.
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Old 08-05-2010, 03:38 PM
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Funny joke. Why are they atheists? Why is this in the religion section? This belongs in the joke section.
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