Can there be alcohol at a wedding reception where half of the guests are Baha'i and h

I have a question about serving alcohol at our wedding reception if half of the guests are not Baha'i.

My fiance and his family are Baha'i and I am non-religious. His mother says that alcohol cannot be served at the reception due to her religion, but she also said that if any guests on my side wanted alcohol, they could go to the main restaurant bar (since there will be no alcohol bar in the banquet room) to buy their own alcohol. If this is the case, then I would think that if my parents were to go to the main bar and ordered bottles of champagne for our six tables of guests, then that should be okay, right?

The restaurant is also an American restaurant, not a Baha'i owned restaurant. My fiance's parents aren't the only ones hosting this reception. The cost is equally being shared by my parents, and both sides have an equal amount of guests. I don't think that it is fair that she herself decides for all the guests of both sides of the family that there cannot be alcohol.

I am in a similar situation - my fiance's side of the family does not drink mainly for religious reasons. My side of the family does and my parents are also the ones hosting (paying). I originally said no alcohol BC I didn't want to offend them, but we finally found a compromise. We are not serving liquor or beer, but some wine and sparkling wine, as well as many non alcoholic drinks. This is tasteful, and will not interfere with Antone's alcohol issues. People will not be getting drunk and crazy, but can enjoy some wine if they choose. Non-drinkers tend to have fewer issues with wine than beer and liquor.
During the toasts, we may serve sparkling grape juice along with the sparkling wine or just have people use whatever drink they currently have in their hand at the time.

You do need to respect your in-laws concerns, but at the end of the day, if your parents are paying its really their choice. Hope this helps =)

You have perfectly described my wedding bar situation, but reverse. My family is Bah?'? while his family is non-religious. Both of our families are paying for the reception. The alcohol situation is not that your MIL wishes to keep all the guests from drinking during the reception. However, Bah?'? laws dictate that not only can we not drink or cook with alcohol, we are not allowed to serve alcohol to others.

Even though your fiance's family is paying for part of the wedding, in essence, any alcohol provided by the actual event would appear as "being served" by a Bah?'?. Not only does your MIL probably wish to adhere by the rules of our religion, she's probably also trying to avoid looking like a Covenant Breaker (law breaker) to the other Bah?'?s at the wedding.

If your fiance is Persian (as my family is), his relatives may even be scandalized by the fact that alcohol might show up during the reception at all. Don't let that hinder your parents from providing for those of your guests who do drink. I just want you to understand that our laws in the Faith are very very important to us and we strive to uphold them to the letter.

As far as my wedding goes, since we are having a morning ceremony and afternoon reception, we're able to forgo the alcohol without many people being upset. His family is small and a sparkling juice toast is going to serve us just as well as a champagne one. None of our friends drink, and his family is having a cocktail get together the night before at a friend's house.

I hope this is resolved! Please feel free to leave another comment if you have more questions.

You are marrying a man that has specific religious rules and laws. This will be just one of many religious issues you will have to face.

And when you accept money from someone, there are always stings attached.

Having a religious rule about drinking is one thing - don't drink. But when there is a rule about serving as well, then you have a problem. They are kicking in money too and they have a right to have their religious laws followed.

You are asking for trouble bringing alcohol to some tables and not others - what if some people end up mixed seating (some his, some yours). It just seems tacky.

I actually think the solution your MIL offered is very reasonable. What your parents CAN do is create "drink tickets" for their guests and use that for a tab at the bar. That way your parents can cover the tab for their guests drinks. Perhaps they can work out a deal with the restaurant. Or your parents are welcome to host a cocktail "after-party."

Good Luck

Stop for a minute. There are HUGE benefits to NOT serving alcohol. First off - you will save THOUSANDS of dollars. Just serve bottled apple spritzer. People can go out and drink on their own money after the wedding as much as they want can they not??? Who cares about religion - just forget that issue. Alcohol at weddings I've been to has only created embarrassment for the bride and others. Take your wedding up a notch in class and just don't serve it. I think you need to be sensitive about this issue and just let the alcohol go. Anyone who wants can have after the wedding. But, if the other parents really want it on the table - let them get bottled champagne then for their own tables. There's nothing wrong with that. But, generally, I have found that you want to create a certain ambiance during your reception and if half drinks and the other doesn't - that creates a weird ambiance in my opinion and having a setting that is the same for all sets a better tone overall. People get crazy with alcohol at weddings I have found and yeah - it's just not all it's cracked up to be. We were half and half on the alcohol issue and I just had the reception in a no alcohol location that way - no one could have an issue with it. Everyone who wanted had a drinking party after wards amongst themselves. We had no alcohol and it was really enjoyable that way.

at my wedding, well my family didn't drink, i don't drink, my husband doesn't drink and his dad's a recovering alcoholic, but we did have alcohol, but we had lots of other drinks too and some non alcoholic beer and wine

I think your idea of your parents ordering for your guests is fine. Hopefully your future MIL won't get too hung up on something like that the day of her child's wedding. And if your family isn't acting all crazy drunk,she probably won't care. It's probably the thought of drunks ruining the wedding that keeps her from allowing others to drink.