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The Buddha probably was never asked this question...but he never had sex after his enlightenment, and if he was asked, i guess he'd remain silent and prefer not to answer this question.
i think this issue is addressed in their holy text. i think choking and hitting and leather are okay with Buddha, but when it comes to pooping and peeing on/in one another and stuff like that well it's a noon. puke, however, is surprisingly acceptable, as well as farts.
It doesn't seem to fit.
But I also doubt that they discuss sexual preferences at your Buddhist gatherings.
I think they're expecting you to apply the joy you've been given in your own personal way in your own personal life. Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly, in peace.
As far as I'm aware, Buddhism contains no prohibitions about sex other than that partners should be consenting.
They're not nearly as obsessed with genitals as Abrahamic religions are
"Sexual misconduct" is prohibited, and what that means is determined by your best judgment. Sex, of any kind, is best when practiced with dispassion.
BDSM can be exceptionally sensual, and so can be a greater form of attachment of hedonism. That's for you to discern. Everything in moderation, including moderation.
As a Dom, I find no conflict. Sometimes sex can be therapeutic, compassionate, and this is achieved through colorful means. I've also overindulged and lost myself in the pleasure. If one errors, it is important to learn from it.
Edit:
To discern what "sexual misconduct" is, consider the ways sex can run afoul the other teachings. Sex can be harmful, encourage ego, be hedonistic, or a form of attachment. Sex need not be any of these things, and is best without them.
The basic ethical discipline of a Buddhist is also the foundation of Buddhist ethics, including five precepts: not to kill, not to steal, not to be involve in sexual immorality, not to lie, and not to use intoxicants. Being a Buddhist, you must undertake at least one of the five precepts. The more fully you practice the precept, the higher your ethical virtues develop, and the greater dignity you will seek to achieve.
Buddhism will suggest that you not harm another, but beyond that does not intrude into your consensual sexual life.
But as you start to understand Buddhism and the mechanisms of our living choices more fully, you might reconsider:
Buddhism teaches about karma, you know. Karma is the sum total of all the imprints and habits that you have established. Every feeling, thought, and action either deepens the rut of existing habits, or breaks the ground to start a new habit.
The whole process and goal of Buddhism is to break our existing habits and to create ones. It is also to become free from the compulsions of our preferences and aversions ... both that which we like and that which we dislike.
BDSM, while essentially a harmless play-acting, is yet setting imprints for karma's that will include actual domination and rough handling. And if you set those karma's you will be drawing situations to you that are not harmless games, but deadly serious. Furthermore, by moving so strongly in the direction of strengthening your attachments, you might as well not bother with Buddhism because you are counteracting any benefit you could gain from practicing the drama.
This is something you really need to think about. What karma's/habits are you setting or reinforcing? There's that First Nations story about the two wolves ...the one that survives is the one that you feed.
A sexual question about Buddhism...?
