.
Q. What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
A. Suppressing the erection.
Abdul: "Mahmood, I don't like the way you drive."
Mahmood: "OK, I'll hold the detonator and you drive."
Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.
Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.
Q. What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
A. At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.
Not being able to find any prophecy of Muhammad's its a open secret Muhammed used Qumran for his selfish sex pleasures and power game
Quran 2:187 --- It's OK to have sex with your wives on the night of the fast
Quran 2:223 & 66:1 --- Have sex with your women whenever, however, and as often as you like
Quran 33:37 --- Allah gave Zeyd to Muhammad in marriage. This was so that all Muslims would know that it's OK to marry your son's wife.
Quran 70:29-30 --- You don't have to be chaste around your wives or your slave girls.
Quran 33:50-51 --- Allah says it is lawful for Muhammad to marry any women he wants.
---- he should marry 6yr old girl
Quran 4:3 --- Allah told to Muhammed, he can marry more than the "4 wives' Muslim quota
Qur'an 4:34 --- Allah told to Muhammed, he can beat his wives
--- , he can have sex slaves
Qur'an, Chapter 66: --- he will get better wives if he divorce
Quran 24:6 --- A husband can accuse his wife of adultery with only one witness
Quran 33:28-29 --- If Muhammad's wives are good, Allah will give them "an immense reward."
Qur'an (38:44) --- And take in your hand a green branch and beat her with it, and do not break your oath..." Allah telling Job to beat his wife.
Sahih Muslim Book 7, Number 2982: Jabir b. Abdullab reported Allah?s Messenger as saying: Odd number of stones are to be used for cleaning (the private parts after answering the call of nature), and casting of pebbles at the Jamras is to be done by odd numbers (seven), and (the number) of circuits between AL-Safa? and AL-Marwa is also odd (seven), and the number of circuits (around the Ka?BA) is also odd (seven). Whenever any one of you is required to use stones (for cleaning the private parts) he should use odd number of stones (three, five or seven).
obviously Muhammed was a sex maniac who created Islam for his own benefit delivered Quran verses
Qur'an (66:1-5) - Muhammed broke oath and skrewd hafza's slave and revealed this verse, once Allah made halal he can force any wife or slave for sex
Qur'an (33:37) - poor adopted son had to loose his wife, Muhammed wrecked a married life by this verse
Qur'an (33:50) - Allah telling whom muhmmed can have sex, wives, "right hand possessions"
Qur'an (33:51) - Allah telling muhammed to black mail his wives shut their mouth if muhammed perve on any slaves, or particular wife any day any time
Quran 8:41 You should know that if you gain WAR BOOTY, one-fifth shall go to GOD and the messenger and his relatives, You will do this if you believe in GOD and in what we revealed to our servant on the day of decision, the day the two armies clashed. GOD is Omnipotent.
Masha Allah, Muslim potraid God as some kinda third party agent telling thieves how to distribute things/money which they DONT OWN!
Allah managed to hand down quite a few "revelations" that sanctioned Muhammad's personal pursuit of sex to the doubters around him. Interestingly they have become part of the the eternal, infallible word of the Qur'an, to be memorized by generations of Muslims for whom they have no possible relevance.
Qur'an (33:37) - "But when Zaid had accomplished his want of her, We gave her to you as a wife, so that there should be no difficulty for the believers in respect of the wives of their adopted sons, when they have accomplished their want of them; and Allah's command shall be performed." No doubt millions of young Muslims, trying to outdo one another at memorizing the Qur'an, have wondered about what this verse means and why it is there. In fact, this is a "revelation" of convenience that Allah just happened to hand down at a time when Muhammad lusted after his daughter-in-law, Zaynab, - a state of affairs that disturbed local customs. The verse "commands" Muhammad to marry the woman (following her husband's gracious divorce). As for why this should be part of the eternal word of God...?
Qur'an (33:50) - "O Prophet! surely We have made lawful to you your wives whom you have given their dowries, and those whom your right hand possesses out of those whom Allah has given to you as prisoners of war, and the daughters of your paternal uncles and the daughters of your paternal aunts, and the daughters of your maternal uncles and the daughters of your maternal aunts who fled with you; and a believing woman if she gave herself to the Prophet, if the Prophet desired to marry her-- specially for you, not for the (rest of) believers; We know what We have ordained for them concerning their wives and those whom their right hands possess in order that no blame may attach to you; " This is another special command that Muhammad handed down to himself that allows virtually unlimited sex, divinely sanctioned by Allah. One assumes that this "revelation" was meant to assuage some sort of disgruntlement in the community over Muhammad's hedonism.
Qur'an (33:51) - "You may put off whom you please of them, and you may take to you whom you please, and whom you desire of those whom you had separated provisionally; no blame attaches to you; this is most proper, so that their eyes may be cool and they may not grieve, and that they should be pleased" This is in reference to a situation in which Muhammad's wives were grumbling about his preference for sleeping with a slave girl (Mary the Copt) instead of them. Accordingly, Muhammad may sleep with whichever wife (or slave) he wishes without having to hear the others complain... as revealed in Allah's literal and perfect words to more than a billion Muslims.
Qur'an (66:1-5) - "O Prophet! Why ban thou that which Allah hath made lawful for thee, seeking to please thy wives?..." Another remarkable verse of sexual convenience concerns an episode in which Muhammad's wives were jealous of the attention that he was giving to a Christian slave girl. But, as he pointed out to them, to neglect the sexual availability of his slaves was against Allah's will for him!
Qur'an (4:24) - "And all married women (are forbidden unto you) save those (captives) whom your right hands possess." Allah even permitted Muhammad and his men to have sex with married slaves, such as those captured in battle.
Quran 2:187 --- It's OK to have sex with your wives on the night of the fast
Quran 2:223 & 66:1 --- Have sex with your women whenever, however, and as often as you like
Quran 33:37 --- Allah gave Zeyd to Muhammad in marriage. This was so that all Muslims would know that it's OK to marry your son's wife.
Quran 70:29-30 --- You don't have to be chaste around your wives or your slave girls.
Quran 33:50-51 --- Allah says it is lawful for Muhammad to marry any women he wants.
---- he should marry 6yr old girl
Quran 4:3 --- Allah told to Muhammed, he can marry more than the "4 wives' Muslim quota
Qur'an 4:34 --- Allah told to Muhammed, he can beat his wives
--- , he can have sex slaves
Qur'an, Chapter 66: --- he will get better wives if he divorce
Quran 24:6 --- A husband can accuse his wife of adultery with only one witness
Quran 33:28-29 --- If Muhammad's wives are good, Allah will give them "an immense reward."
Qur'an (38:44) --- And take in your hand a green branch and beat her with it, and do not break your oath..." Allah telling Job to beat his wife.
How and when you came to know about Islam?
